Today, I Choose...

I take a sip of peppermint tea and fight off leftover sleepiness. My bonnet slides over my forehead, completely obscuring my field of vision on all sides. The clouds are layered, the snow is melting, and all is cold and quiet this fine March morning. Except, perhaps, for the random truck outside my house.

Good morning, friends, and welcome to another day! It's days like these, when I'm armed with a notebook, my trusty fuzzy socks, and my devotion time with God, that I feel I can take on anything that comes my way. 

Today, I'm choosing joy. 

Yesterday started out almost exactly like today. Writing in my bonnet and socks, spending a few hours on school, and daydreaming about stories. But at some point in the afternoon, I crashed. 

Have you ever spent an extended amount of time in the company of a person who absolutely cannot - will not - talk about anything positive? And after you've tried every other option - talking peaceably, offering advice, trying to fix whatever is bothering them - you just can't take it anymore? Yes. I admit it. Yesterday I reached the point of explosion. 

Or rather, implosion.

By choosing to be grumpy in response to someone else's choice to be grumpy, I made the situation worse, not better. I surrounded myself with an atmosphere of grouchy porcupine quills that jabbed anyone and everyone around me. But they weren't the only ones getting hurt.

By hurting others, I was also hurting myself.

Sometimes we can all be very dense, and yesterday was one of my sometimes moments. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 tells us, "Rejoice always." I wasn't rejoicing. I was the exact opposite of rejoicing. I dragged myself down into the mud and, as my da put it, threw mud back at the other grumpy person. In my humanness I made the choice to be just as grumpy, just as prickly, to punish everyone around me.

I was wrong. 

Verse seventeen tells me to "Pray without ceasing." I wasn't praying in response to the grumpiness I faced. I was trying to handle things in my own strength, and after I'd exhausted my capabilities I didn't ask the Lord to help me. Come to think of it, I should have done that first. 

I was wrong. Again.

Verse 18 then says, "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." This moment, this time, this place; they were all ordained for me to be here. Why? To be a light for my Savior. And I was the exact opposite.

Once again, I was wrong. 

But thanks be to God! I don't have to stay down in the mud. 1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." We repent - turn away from our wrongdoing - and ask for forgiveness and the grace to do better tomorrow. And, not because of my strength but because of His grace, God forgives me with open arms and gives me a second chance.

And a third. And a fourth. And a two hundred and fourth. Because there is no limit to the grace of God.

Every day I wake up with a choice to make. I can walk around with my head on my knees and a chip on my shoulder, complaining at everyone and everything. Or I can lift my head to the sky and praise God that I woke up this morning, that I'm a happy and healthy human being, and that I can share this post with you. 

Today, I'm choosing joy. I'm choosing to love that grumpy person and not let them drag me into the mud. We are both sinners and we both make mistakes, but we recognize them, apologize for them, and then move forward with hope. 

Will you join me? What will you choose today?

Tally ho!

Rachael Anne